There are several dysfunctions in the lives of our teens that must be dealt with as we move into The Coming Teen Decade (2013-2019). This blog deals with some key issues and how, as adults, we can combat these dysfunctions. While it may seem like young people are screaming "leave me alone", what they really mean is "I want to belong".
This
is an article on loneliness written by my oldest son Jaren a couple of
years ago. I have edited it for my blog purposes. As we move toward The
Coming Teen Decade (2013-2019), look around you. We may live on a small
planet with almost 7 billion people on it, but, many young people are
crippled by loneliness. Look around you at school, or work, or even in
your own home for a young person who may be doing life alone. The signs
are not always clear. You could be lonely in a crowd. And, one of the
growing movements in America is human trafficking. The wicked scheme of
Satan to lure a generation away from their creator and His purpose for
their life into a lifetime of slavery to drugs, sex, or work. This
almost always begins with loneliness. At the end of the article I will
give some practical help.
==========
Growing
up
through the adolescent years of life can be difficult in many ways. I
believe that among the trials, loneliness is at the forefront
of what troubles young people all over the world. It is so customary in
our
world for adolescents to be left out and lonely, and at this time in
their
lives it is so essential for them to be accepted. I know we can all
remember
being in elementary school and trying to make friends, or going through
middle school
and trying to fit in or make the basketball team. Everyone, in some way,
is
trying to fit in and become accepted. When acceptance is out of reach,
loneliness will often settle in and take over.
Although adolescent loneliness is an
extensive problem today and much research has been conducted, it is debated as
to what it exactly means for an adolescent to be lonely. The most common
definition is an "unpleasant experience that occurs when a person's network of
social relationships is significantly deficient in either quality or quantity”
(Uruk and Demir).
I believe that everyone in this world is searching for
relationship. One of the worst things that can happen to an adolescent is
having unhealthy (or a lack of) relationships. Whether it is with family,
friends, or a random stranger. We have experiences with many different kinds of
people each and every day, and every encounter either brings us satisfaction or
emptiness. Adolescents are especially susceptible to the highs and lows of
relationships. There are a numerous amount of reasons for why adolescents
become lonely, but here are just two signs of loneliness.
The first cause of adolescent
loneliness that can be vital to many areas of one’s life is social anxiety . It
seems as though this is one of the most eminent obstacles for a young person to
face when trying to find acceptance and relationship. Social anxiety can mean a
few different things, but I believe what it means to experience this is being
constantly uneasy or even scared about meeting new people, or simply being
around other people. “Social anxiety is the fear of
social situations and the interaction with other people that can automatically
bring on feelings of self-consciousness, judgment, evaluation, and criticism.
Put another way, social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being judged and
evaluated negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy,
embarrassment, humiliation, and depression” (Richards)
From my research I discovered that someone who is lonely almost always
suffers from some form of social anxiety. When you think about how an adolescent
may become lonely or feel misplaced, it is usually because there is a barrier
or hindrance that does not allow he/she to interact appropriately in the social
world. When the problem of adolescent loneliness is considered, it is almost a
guarantee that there is some form of social anxiety that takes place in the
individual. Social anxiety is what may drive someone away from happiness or
contentment, and push him or her toward loneliness or depression .
Although there are many causes of loneliness, the final cause I want to deal with is peer rejection. Many
times
when a child is experiencing loneliness, a lot of why they are feeling
this way
comes from being rejected by their peers. At school, work, or society,
there are a lot of pressures that can drive someone to emotional or
physical loneliness. The damage than one can
receive from harsh peer rejection can last for a lifetime. It can be
devastating. “Peer
rejection is a powerful force in adolescent life, especially when the
person
being rejected is also ridiculed, harassed, or bullied. Although
rejection
leads to murder and suicide only in rare instances, it is associated
with
countless other acts of lesser signs such as violence, delinquency,
isolation, and
loneliness” (Cook). It is clear that the countless amount of suffering
that
can occur from peer rejection is far too severe to be taken lightly, as
many
times there have been school shootings and acts of violence due to
loneliness
and peer rejection.
==========
My
words to you today are simple. Be the relationship that an adolescent
might need today. It may be your smile, an unselfish act of getting a
door, offering to pay for a drink/meal, or a well-timed compliment for
something they are wearing or have said. As we come to the next 7 years
of The Teen Decade (2013-2019), counter the loneliness in our culture by
modeling healthy relationships to everyone around you. You never know
when something you say or do is a prophetic move to combat the struggle
of loneliness.
Comments
Post a Comment