I remember when my parents used to say, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." At the time I would just fold my arms, be quiet, and stay mad. Probably because I didn't have anything nice to say in that moment. Now, I look back at that advice and thank my parents for that kind of advice.
In a day like we are living in now, the social media age and all, this is great advice. There are several instances when I have put out an IM or a text and wish I could have had it back. Even after I thought about it a few times. Everyone has said (or tweeted) things they wish they could have taken back once they thought about it and had time to cool down. Most of us need to remember that our cyber society is so inter-connected today that our words become viral. And often mis-understood when they are not heard within the context of our own thoughts.
We have all heard in conversation or seen on Facebook the following kinds of statements or posts:
"My school is a bunch of gossipers"
"Everyone is so fake"
"My parents hate me"
"I wish everyone would just tell the truth"
Think about these statements. Is everyone a hypocrite, a gossip, a hater, and a liar? Of course there are some hypocrites, gossips, haters, and liars. We are human. All of us. But, the reality is that when people are hurt we don't always respond in the most appropriate ways. These are generalities made to get back at a few people. A social media blast in the open forum adds no solution to the problems. Actually, what these kind of words will do, is fuel the problem and draw others into the conversation who feel the same way as more people get into the discussion and more posts fill the page.
Solutions? Here are a few:
Take a lesson from my parents sage advice to me many years ago. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. It might get awfully quiet, but, silence sure beats saying the wrong thing.
In a day like we are living in now, the social media age and all, this is great advice. There are several instances when I have put out an IM or a text and wish I could have had it back. Even after I thought about it a few times. Everyone has said (or tweeted) things they wish they could have taken back once they thought about it and had time to cool down. Most of us need to remember that our cyber society is so inter-connected today that our words become viral. And often mis-understood when they are not heard within the context of our own thoughts.
We have all heard in conversation or seen on Facebook the following kinds of statements or posts:
"My school is a bunch of gossipers"
"Everyone is so fake"
"My parents hate me"
"I wish everyone would just tell the truth"
Think about these statements. Is everyone a hypocrite, a gossip, a hater, and a liar? Of course there are some hypocrites, gossips, haters, and liars. We are human. All of us. But, the reality is that when people are hurt we don't always respond in the most appropriate ways. These are generalities made to get back at a few people. A social media blast in the open forum adds no solution to the problems. Actually, what these kind of words will do, is fuel the problem and draw others into the conversation who feel the same way as more people get into the discussion and more posts fill the page.
Solutions? Here are a few:
First, forgive. Listen, all of us are probably going to get hurt today and we will probably get hurt tomorrow. And, chances are that all of us are going to hurt someone today and chances are that all of us are going to hurt someone tomorrow. Walk in forgiveness.
Second, talk to the people who offend you. Talk to no one else. And when you are done talking with them, be quiet. That would end the discussions on these kind of things.
Third, learn to value the words of the people who are closest to you. And not to take seriously the words of people who do not love you.
Fourth, stop worrying and do not bear the ill thoughts of others. Let your life defend itself.
Finally, if something is said about you and it is true, then deal with it. Maybe you are at fault and the words of others can help you deal with the problems in your life. Even if what someone said was not in the right spirit, and there is a little fault in you, deal with it and kill it. And thank the people in your life who are willing to tell you the truth.
Psalm 19:14, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord..."
Take a lesson from my parents sage advice to me many years ago. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. It might get awfully quiet, but, silence sure beats saying the wrong thing.
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